The high school students have technology sophisticated enough to detect two mutated dinosaurs three states over and this dude is trynna catfish over Xbox Live. He also gets an episode where Victor Veloci pretends to be a pretty girl in an MMORPG ( 75 million years old, people) and tries to get him to “break Internet safety rules” and tell her where he is so that Veloci can… do… something. But the way they handle it is weirdly infantilizing, especially since they really do try to treat pteranodude like he’s a lot younger than the rest of them. Now, I know, high school kids do have problems with bullies, and I’m not trying to minimize that. There’s one right there by that lighthouse y’all are based in for some reason. The bully’s name is McFinn, which is somehow much more ridiculous than it should be it sounds really dumb anytime anyone says “McFinn” on the show, especially when they imply that this “McFinn” person is scary or tough. This particular image is from an episode where he’s having problems with bullies. Now, again, these kids are in late high school, because they’re driving, but this one particularly– he turns into a pteranodon– keeps getting storylines that imply he is nine. (So can the old lady, presumably, although I don’t know if I’ve seen an episode where she does.)Īnd those teenagers? They’re… weird. Note that Veloci himself can regain his velociraptor form at any time. The show is about how this 75-million year old supervillain is routinely outwitted by a bunch of teenagers who can turn into dinosaurs. ![]() Note also his minions, who are dressed like COBRA applicants who got rejected for dressing too ridiculously. His haircut, somehow, is the most ridiculous thing about the show. And that is an honest-to-God red streak dyed into his hair. This is Victor Veloci’s hair:Īnd, lest you think “Oh, he’s just long-haired, what’s the big deal?” let me show you another picture of Victor Veloci: Has the suspension of disbelief gotten harder yet? Still need more? Okay. You turn Victor Veloci’s dino-rodents or whatever back into regular rodents via a two-step process: 1) shooting them with a sprayer that causes the “dino DNA” to be sweated out of their skin, and 2) then– I am not joking– sucking the dino DNA up with a vacuum cleaner.The two of them should literally rule the planet by now. He’s insanely incompetent for a 75 million year old immortal dino-person. Victor Veloci’s evil plan is to occasionally turn rodents and fish into dinosaurs, but only a couple at a time.He calls himself… wait for it… Victor Veloci. The other velociraptor is also still around, and is therefore also 75 million years old.Like I said, eventually that line gets crossed. Shut up, Science Luther! It’s a kid’s show! Okay. This means that she was already somehow ten million years old before that explosion, and therefore the oldest living thing on Earth, exceeded possibly only by the other immortal velociraptor, and is therefore…īut that’s Science Luther talking.Velociraptors died out ten million years before the Chicxulub impact.Cassowaries are considerably scarier-looking. If you saw one today, you’d think “Ooh, what a weird-looking bird!”. Velociraptors were the size of turkeys and had feathers.You literally see the two velociraptors diving into a cave during the meteor strike. She is, in fact, a velociraptor! A velociraptor who somehow avoided dying in the Chicxulub impact and “evolved” to be able to turn into a human being. The lady tells them that she is, herself, a dinosaur. ![]() They meet this old lady, whose name I can never remember, and she tells them they can turn into dinosaurs.So far, I’m OK! This is basically Daredevil’s origin, right? Spider-Man got bitten by a radioactive spider. They discover it has given them the ability to turn into dinosaurs. ![]()
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